i swear i dont do this on purpose. i'm going to be better about writing here, promise :)
ok, since we last chatted. wow. so much has happened. the most notable thing is that ive started to write my thesis. i severely underestimated the difficulty of this project. i'm writing a memoir about the tendancy people have to create many "selves" and using my own experiences to highlight the danger of losing yourself. "writing about yourself?", you're thinking.."sounds easy." yeah, its not. telling the truth, the complete and total truth about yourself and how you feel about whatever scene thats out there - scary! and hard! but, i'm working. its a process, i suppose. so far i have my proposal in draft and my advisors are reviewing it before i revise it for the 8 millionth time and then submit it in may. i'm also working on rounding out my first character. for now, i'm calling her the "doormat" even tho i'm not totally satisfied with that name. thats what we'll call her for now. she is the version of me that dated someone toxic for a long period of time and lost herself in a sea of neediness and self doubt. not healthy. not cool. but she is an important version of myself, so she must be included. other characters will follow.. baby steps...
in other news, i had a birthday. 26! damn, im getting up there. my wonderful and loving fiance treated me to a night of theatre (we saw beauty and the beast -so good!) and he bought me a kindle :) obsessed much? i love love love it! and him for being so fantastic. i had a delicious coconut cake from his mom and managed to eat 2 pieces on my bday. it was my bday! stop judging! anyways, it was a great day!
we also are now less than a year away from our wedding, which is reallly exciting! we have our venue already, its a beautiful waterfront house on the river in jupiter fl and its so old florida. very laid back. very beautiful! we will get married under a big oak tree on the property and then eat, drink and dance the night away on the porch overlooking the water! so perfect! ...and i bought a dress that is so me and so great! i cant wait to wear it :) we have been meeting with caterers and next up will be photogs, all very exciting and neccessary. i think everyone is really looking forward to it and i hope its a night of love and fun :)
i also got the chance to go to new orleans with my bestie haley to visit her sister erin :) and it just so happened to be mardi gras!!! woot! talk about crraazzzyyy! so many people doing so many illegal things in a very cramped place. erin lives in a cute apartment in the french quarter, so we were right in the middle of all the action! we saw some great parades and got tons of beads (sans flashing..) and got a lil tipsy down on bourbon street! it was a great time full of yummy food and fun <3 and it was great seeing erin who i hadnt seen in months!!! and it was nice to have a few days off, but i came home feeling like i needed a vacation from my vacation. whew.
recently ive been feeling overwhelmed by everything in life from work, and school, to the laundry and the list of wedding things. just talking about it now makes my head spin. there is so much to do and never any time to do it all...wtf!? so, ive been trying to take more time for myself and focus on getting my mind relaxed and focused so im not so all over the place all the time! my savior - yoga! i just started practicing at a new studio and i love it! they offer classes in all kinds of yoga from the more simple and relaxing to ashtanga - which if you have never done...o.m.g. it will kick your ass. in a good way of course. its fantastic! and you leave all sweaty and hot and surprisingly relaxed and energized! im in love. of course i also like going to see the people much better than me twist themselves into crazy poses. i am in awe of them and wish i could be like them. some day..some day...
anyways.. thats where i am. in the midst of all the insanity i manage to find a few moments for me and i love those few hours a week when i can lay on the couch with matt and our sweet puggy june bug and just relax. im also going to try out paddleboarding sometime soon.. so wish me luck on that one :)
until next time (which will be soon, i swear!).. <3
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