three days in a row? scotty's on fiiiiirrreeee :) its been a while since i pulled out an austin powers reference, so youre welcome!
so yoga - im obsessed right? its challenging and awesome all at once. who knew sweating profusely and twisting your body could make you feel so great?! i love it.
i have a friend that lives in the bahamas and she is a yoga instructor. i started to talk to her about where she studied and let me tell you - i'm hooked. She studied in the bahamas - http://www.sivanandabahamas.org/index.php here! yes please! ok so it is a four week insensive training program and something i would totally love to do! you can stay in a tent or a dorm, tho i would likely pick a tent and everyday you meditate and do yoga and eat delicious healthy food. the more i think about it, the more i want to go - like tomorrow! i think it would be such an amazing experience and while i would miss everyone here, its only 4 weeks and the trade off is so great.
sometimes i feel so out of whack, like when you see those guys who spin plates on top of long sticks and then he gets out of rhythem and the plates dont spin all together and wobble and topple. i feel like that. like im not in sync or something. practicing yoga helps get me back together so my plates arent all spinning in opposite directions. i think learning about the philosophy and way of life that intense yoga is all about would be magical.
granted - i cant just up and disappear for four months - at least not now.. and the 2400$ it costs to attend the training isnt growing on my money tree out back. so for now, its just a dream. a goal. a wish. something. but i would loooove to do it! there is a class starting may 5 - someone sign me up!!! haha :)
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
paddleboarding = love.
ok, so talk about an adventure.
last sunday i talked matt into trying out a new possible hobby for me. i really need something fun and active to do outdoors bc i am so over the gym and i cant do yoga everyday. i always see people down at the beach on stand up paddle boards and it looks like so much fun! i've been dying to try it and its finally warm enough to be in the water and not freeze in the wind.
so sunday. matt isnt anti-outdoors, but there are other things he would rather be doing than be on the water balancing on a long board. plus hes the whitest kid i know and burns pretty easy. so we stocked up on our spf70 for him and planned our day around renting paddleboards. we got all sunscreened up and set out on a perfect sunny and clear day. i was ecstatic! i planned on taking loads of pictures and really soaking up everything i could from our adventure, so i could make an informed decision on whether or not i wanted to invest in a board of my own and make paddleboarding my new best friend. we were heading to jupiter to the rental place. windows down, sun like you wouldnt believe. but we cant find the place. its there, but it isnt. the jupiter outdoor center- where we planned on renting boards - is actually extremely hard to find if you dont know where it is. truth is, its attached to a tropical outdoorsy restaurant on the river called guanabanas. cool place, hard to find. plus, at guanabanas, you HAVE to valet park bc there is zero parking at the restaurant. so after driving in circles for ten minutes and watching matts blood pressure rise with every u-turn, we valet the car and hop out, towels in hand. now, on a side note, i had been trying to call the jupiter outdoor center (joc) all morning to see if we needed reservations, or if we should bring anything special. no answer. at all. its like they kept looking at the phone all morning, knowing it was me, and giving the phone the finger while it rang and rang and rang. annoying.
so we walk up to the counter, i have a huge stupid smile on my face, super excited! annnddd they are booked. eff! no paddleboarding for us. so we turn and drag our feet back to the valet counter and give the same guy who took the car from us ten seconds ago our ticket. matt is pissed. maybe not pissed, frustrated, frazzled even. not at me, but at the whole day. now we smell like sunscreen for nothing! and itll be damn near impossible to talk him into this adventure attempt #2 after the first one was such a trainwreck! he's so far being a good sport and entertaining the idea, but he's not 100% sold on it yet.. i'll keep you posted...
last sunday i talked matt into trying out a new possible hobby for me. i really need something fun and active to do outdoors bc i am so over the gym and i cant do yoga everyday. i always see people down at the beach on stand up paddle boards and it looks like so much fun! i've been dying to try it and its finally warm enough to be in the water and not freeze in the wind.
so sunday. matt isnt anti-outdoors, but there are other things he would rather be doing than be on the water balancing on a long board. plus hes the whitest kid i know and burns pretty easy. so we stocked up on our spf70 for him and planned our day around renting paddleboards. we got all sunscreened up and set out on a perfect sunny and clear day. i was ecstatic! i planned on taking loads of pictures and really soaking up everything i could from our adventure, so i could make an informed decision on whether or not i wanted to invest in a board of my own and make paddleboarding my new best friend. we were heading to jupiter to the rental place. windows down, sun like you wouldnt believe. but we cant find the place. its there, but it isnt. the jupiter outdoor center- where we planned on renting boards - is actually extremely hard to find if you dont know where it is. truth is, its attached to a tropical outdoorsy restaurant on the river called guanabanas. cool place, hard to find. plus, at guanabanas, you HAVE to valet park bc there is zero parking at the restaurant. so after driving in circles for ten minutes and watching matts blood pressure rise with every u-turn, we valet the car and hop out, towels in hand. now, on a side note, i had been trying to call the jupiter outdoor center (joc) all morning to see if we needed reservations, or if we should bring anything special. no answer. at all. its like they kept looking at the phone all morning, knowing it was me, and giving the phone the finger while it rang and rang and rang. annoying.
so we walk up to the counter, i have a huge stupid smile on my face, super excited! annnddd they are booked. eff! no paddleboarding for us. so we turn and drag our feet back to the valet counter and give the same guy who took the car from us ten seconds ago our ticket. matt is pissed. maybe not pissed, frustrated, frazzled even. not at me, but at the whole day. now we smell like sunscreen for nothing! and itll be damn near impossible to talk him into this adventure attempt #2 after the first one was such a trainwreck! he's so far being a good sport and entertaining the idea, but he's not 100% sold on it yet.. i'll keep you posted...
fml.
today i am over it. all of it.
i am over stupid ppl at my job who dont know how to do their job after 11 years of working here. how is that possible?! i mean really, i do the same thing every. single. day. it is NOT rocket science i assure you. really, the most difficult thing i do during my work day at the front desk of a fabulous hotel is not laugh at the ridiculous questions, or yell at the assholes. somedays its harder to bite my tongue. like today. ugh. im in a terrible mood and its barely 9am. wtf.
i am also over the current state of my house. disaster zone doenst even begin to explain the magnitude of destruction my house looks like it has endured. i blame myself. i am responsible for the laundry - not because i want to be, bc honestly i hate it, but because i hate doing dishes more. so that is the compromise - i do the laundry and matt does the dishes. it was a "lesser of two evils" compromise - i won. but i won nine million loads of laundry as my prize (which ill take over icky dishes any day..but still..) if you know me, you likely know my giant size fiance who stands over a foot taller than me at 6'4". his clothes are much larger than mine, and one pair of his pants is about the same as 3 pairs of mine. are the piles of laundry materializing in your mind? they are forever burned in mine and i frequently have nightmares about them swallowing me whole. another hitch in this wagon ride is that i am a compulsize clothing shopper. its a problem really. i have more clothes than 5 people need. so that adds more to the growing pile. on top of all of this - with all these odds stacked against me - i'm lazy. not in the sense that i lay about every second of every day bc i dont - but lazy in the fact that i hate sacrificing one of my two days off to monitor the laundry, fold, hang, rinse, repeat. i cherish my days off and hate it when i have to spend one cleaning, so i often put it off until its so overwhelming that i lose my mind. i'm currently in the "lose my mind" stage of this vicious cycle and i'm trying to form a plot where matt allows us to move to a nudist colony and i dont have to wash clothes. that or we win the lotto and my clothes -like my income- become disposable. :) someone pray for me - i may have lost it.
what else? buckle your seatbelt, we have only just begun.
i am over being a short person who has to constantly fight about their weight. i fight with myself mostly, so maybe i should work on channeling that to a more healthy place. my struggle? likely the same struggle all short 20-somethings face. i work my ass off - literally. i ride my bike to work most days, i go to the gym five to seven days a week, i eat salad and veggies and pay attention to every morsel i consume -and what happens? nothing! abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING. someone just slap me. it kills me. and anyone who has been a part of this knows how totally discouraging this is. the balance is very delicate and if you dont get it juuuust right, youre frustrated and ready to quit. which i do, often. i cant tell if i'm working out to hard and not eating enough, or not working hard enough and eating too much, or what?! and then after weeks of this nonsense, of making myself continue, trying endlessly to convince myself eventually something will change, i give up. and feel worse than before. why does this happen? i mean i give it a solid serious 10000% percent effort. but its always the same. totally frustrating right?! well, it is. if youre one of those naturally skinny, eat french fries and chicken fingers jerks who never gains an ounce and has a stupid 6 pack (ahem, my sister) - screw you! not really, im just jealous and hate this struggle.
and then theres my writing...
honestly, im not meaning to complain. i just need to get all this icky out of my mind so i can move forward.
writing is hard. making yourself do it every. single. day. nearly impossible. i have to be in the mood to write. i have to reallllly be in the mood if i'm writing about hard times in the past. my entire thesis is based on the past - primarily things i'd rather not think about daily. old relationships, fights, drama. its in the past for a reason. i dislike thinking about, let alone write about it. i'm also struggling to turn myself into a character. a round and well managed character that people fell for and want to root for. its hard. i dont think of myself that way and it is hard to pull my "writer self" out of the story and focus on what me as a character was thinking in that moment i'm describing. i know so much more now than i did then and its difficult to exclude my feelings now about the situation i'm writing about. does that make sense? i have to be, think, act, feel like i did in whatever scene im explaining. and it is hard. really hard. i know this is an important part of the "process", but its causing me to lose sleep and i feel very strongly about my sleep. dont eff with it.
ok, enough of the rambling..
i'm going to start a new post about a new possible hobby :)
kthanksbye<3
i am over stupid ppl at my job who dont know how to do their job after 11 years of working here. how is that possible?! i mean really, i do the same thing every. single. day. it is NOT rocket science i assure you. really, the most difficult thing i do during my work day at the front desk of a fabulous hotel is not laugh at the ridiculous questions, or yell at the assholes. somedays its harder to bite my tongue. like today. ugh. im in a terrible mood and its barely 9am. wtf.
i am also over the current state of my house. disaster zone doenst even begin to explain the magnitude of destruction my house looks like it has endured. i blame myself. i am responsible for the laundry - not because i want to be, bc honestly i hate it, but because i hate doing dishes more. so that is the compromise - i do the laundry and matt does the dishes. it was a "lesser of two evils" compromise - i won. but i won nine million loads of laundry as my prize (which ill take over icky dishes any day..but still..) if you know me, you likely know my giant size fiance who stands over a foot taller than me at 6'4". his clothes are much larger than mine, and one pair of his pants is about the same as 3 pairs of mine. are the piles of laundry materializing in your mind? they are forever burned in mine and i frequently have nightmares about them swallowing me whole. another hitch in this wagon ride is that i am a compulsize clothing shopper. its a problem really. i have more clothes than 5 people need. so that adds more to the growing pile. on top of all of this - with all these odds stacked against me - i'm lazy. not in the sense that i lay about every second of every day bc i dont - but lazy in the fact that i hate sacrificing one of my two days off to monitor the laundry, fold, hang, rinse, repeat. i cherish my days off and hate it when i have to spend one cleaning, so i often put it off until its so overwhelming that i lose my mind. i'm currently in the "lose my mind" stage of this vicious cycle and i'm trying to form a plot where matt allows us to move to a nudist colony and i dont have to wash clothes. that or we win the lotto and my clothes -like my income- become disposable. :) someone pray for me - i may have lost it.
what else? buckle your seatbelt, we have only just begun.
i am over being a short person who has to constantly fight about their weight. i fight with myself mostly, so maybe i should work on channeling that to a more healthy place. my struggle? likely the same struggle all short 20-somethings face. i work my ass off - literally. i ride my bike to work most days, i go to the gym five to seven days a week, i eat salad and veggies and pay attention to every morsel i consume -and what happens? nothing! abso-fucking-lutely NOTHING. someone just slap me. it kills me. and anyone who has been a part of this knows how totally discouraging this is. the balance is very delicate and if you dont get it juuuust right, youre frustrated and ready to quit. which i do, often. i cant tell if i'm working out to hard and not eating enough, or not working hard enough and eating too much, or what?! and then after weeks of this nonsense, of making myself continue, trying endlessly to convince myself eventually something will change, i give up. and feel worse than before. why does this happen? i mean i give it a solid serious 10000% percent effort. but its always the same. totally frustrating right?! well, it is. if youre one of those naturally skinny, eat french fries and chicken fingers jerks who never gains an ounce and has a stupid 6 pack (ahem, my sister) - screw you! not really, im just jealous and hate this struggle.
and then theres my writing...
honestly, im not meaning to complain. i just need to get all this icky out of my mind so i can move forward.
writing is hard. making yourself do it every. single. day. nearly impossible. i have to be in the mood to write. i have to reallllly be in the mood if i'm writing about hard times in the past. my entire thesis is based on the past - primarily things i'd rather not think about daily. old relationships, fights, drama. its in the past for a reason. i dislike thinking about, let alone write about it. i'm also struggling to turn myself into a character. a round and well managed character that people fell for and want to root for. its hard. i dont think of myself that way and it is hard to pull my "writer self" out of the story and focus on what me as a character was thinking in that moment i'm describing. i know so much more now than i did then and its difficult to exclude my feelings now about the situation i'm writing about. does that make sense? i have to be, think, act, feel like i did in whatever scene im explaining. and it is hard. really hard. i know this is an important part of the "process", but its causing me to lose sleep and i feel very strongly about my sleep. dont eff with it.
ok, enough of the rambling..
i'm going to start a new post about a new possible hobby :)
kthanksbye<3
Saturday, April 2, 2011
i'm corey, i'm obviously irresponsible.
i swear i dont do this on purpose. i'm going to be better about writing here, promise :)
ok, since we last chatted. wow. so much has happened. the most notable thing is that ive started to write my thesis. i severely underestimated the difficulty of this project. i'm writing a memoir about the tendancy people have to create many "selves" and using my own experiences to highlight the danger of losing yourself. "writing about yourself?", you're thinking.."sounds easy." yeah, its not. telling the truth, the complete and total truth about yourself and how you feel about whatever scene thats out there - scary! and hard! but, i'm working. its a process, i suppose. so far i have my proposal in draft and my advisors are reviewing it before i revise it for the 8 millionth time and then submit it in may. i'm also working on rounding out my first character. for now, i'm calling her the "doormat" even tho i'm not totally satisfied with that name. thats what we'll call her for now. she is the version of me that dated someone toxic for a long period of time and lost herself in a sea of neediness and self doubt. not healthy. not cool. but she is an important version of myself, so she must be included. other characters will follow.. baby steps...
in other news, i had a birthday. 26! damn, im getting up there. my wonderful and loving fiance treated me to a night of theatre (we saw beauty and the beast -so good!) and he bought me a kindle :) obsessed much? i love love love it! and him for being so fantastic. i had a delicious coconut cake from his mom and managed to eat 2 pieces on my bday. it was my bday! stop judging! anyways, it was a great day!
we also are now less than a year away from our wedding, which is reallly exciting! we have our venue already, its a beautiful waterfront house on the river in jupiter fl and its so old florida. very laid back. very beautiful! we will get married under a big oak tree on the property and then eat, drink and dance the night away on the porch overlooking the water! so perfect! ...and i bought a dress that is so me and so great! i cant wait to wear it :) we have been meeting with caterers and next up will be photogs, all very exciting and neccessary. i think everyone is really looking forward to it and i hope its a night of love and fun :)
i also got the chance to go to new orleans with my bestie haley to visit her sister erin :) and it just so happened to be mardi gras!!! woot! talk about crraazzzyyy! so many people doing so many illegal things in a very cramped place. erin lives in a cute apartment in the french quarter, so we were right in the middle of all the action! we saw some great parades and got tons of beads (sans flashing..) and got a lil tipsy down on bourbon street! it was a great time full of yummy food and fun <3 and it was great seeing erin who i hadnt seen in months!!! and it was nice to have a few days off, but i came home feeling like i needed a vacation from my vacation. whew.
recently ive been feeling overwhelmed by everything in life from work, and school, to the laundry and the list of wedding things. just talking about it now makes my head spin. there is so much to do and never any time to do it all...wtf!? so, ive been trying to take more time for myself and focus on getting my mind relaxed and focused so im not so all over the place all the time! my savior - yoga! i just started practicing at a new studio and i love it! they offer classes in all kinds of yoga from the more simple and relaxing to ashtanga - which if you have never done...o.m.g. it will kick your ass. in a good way of course. its fantastic! and you leave all sweaty and hot and surprisingly relaxed and energized! im in love. of course i also like going to see the people much better than me twist themselves into crazy poses. i am in awe of them and wish i could be like them. some day..some day...
anyways.. thats where i am. in the midst of all the insanity i manage to find a few moments for me and i love those few hours a week when i can lay on the couch with matt and our sweet puggy june bug and just relax. im also going to try out paddleboarding sometime soon.. so wish me luck on that one :)
until next time (which will be soon, i swear!).. <3
ok, since we last chatted. wow. so much has happened. the most notable thing is that ive started to write my thesis. i severely underestimated the difficulty of this project. i'm writing a memoir about the tendancy people have to create many "selves" and using my own experiences to highlight the danger of losing yourself. "writing about yourself?", you're thinking.."sounds easy." yeah, its not. telling the truth, the complete and total truth about yourself and how you feel about whatever scene thats out there - scary! and hard! but, i'm working. its a process, i suppose. so far i have my proposal in draft and my advisors are reviewing it before i revise it for the 8 millionth time and then submit it in may. i'm also working on rounding out my first character. for now, i'm calling her the "doormat" even tho i'm not totally satisfied with that name. thats what we'll call her for now. she is the version of me that dated someone toxic for a long period of time and lost herself in a sea of neediness and self doubt. not healthy. not cool. but she is an important version of myself, so she must be included. other characters will follow.. baby steps...
in other news, i had a birthday. 26! damn, im getting up there. my wonderful and loving fiance treated me to a night of theatre (we saw beauty and the beast -so good!) and he bought me a kindle :) obsessed much? i love love love it! and him for being so fantastic. i had a delicious coconut cake from his mom and managed to eat 2 pieces on my bday. it was my bday! stop judging! anyways, it was a great day!
we also are now less than a year away from our wedding, which is reallly exciting! we have our venue already, its a beautiful waterfront house on the river in jupiter fl and its so old florida. very laid back. very beautiful! we will get married under a big oak tree on the property and then eat, drink and dance the night away on the porch overlooking the water! so perfect! ...and i bought a dress that is so me and so great! i cant wait to wear it :) we have been meeting with caterers and next up will be photogs, all very exciting and neccessary. i think everyone is really looking forward to it and i hope its a night of love and fun :)
i also got the chance to go to new orleans with my bestie haley to visit her sister erin :) and it just so happened to be mardi gras!!! woot! talk about crraazzzyyy! so many people doing so many illegal things in a very cramped place. erin lives in a cute apartment in the french quarter, so we were right in the middle of all the action! we saw some great parades and got tons of beads (sans flashing..) and got a lil tipsy down on bourbon street! it was a great time full of yummy food and fun <3 and it was great seeing erin who i hadnt seen in months!!! and it was nice to have a few days off, but i came home feeling like i needed a vacation from my vacation. whew.
recently ive been feeling overwhelmed by everything in life from work, and school, to the laundry and the list of wedding things. just talking about it now makes my head spin. there is so much to do and never any time to do it all...wtf!? so, ive been trying to take more time for myself and focus on getting my mind relaxed and focused so im not so all over the place all the time! my savior - yoga! i just started practicing at a new studio and i love it! they offer classes in all kinds of yoga from the more simple and relaxing to ashtanga - which if you have never done...o.m.g. it will kick your ass. in a good way of course. its fantastic! and you leave all sweaty and hot and surprisingly relaxed and energized! im in love. of course i also like going to see the people much better than me twist themselves into crazy poses. i am in awe of them and wish i could be like them. some day..some day...
anyways.. thats where i am. in the midst of all the insanity i manage to find a few moments for me and i love those few hours a week when i can lay on the couch with matt and our sweet puggy june bug and just relax. im also going to try out paddleboarding sometime soon.. so wish me luck on that one :)
until next time (which will be soon, i swear!).. <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)